What to say, what to say...are you bored yet??

Well, I guess I could start by saying I finally cut my own hair.  From a many-layered cut going down to my waist in the back to a shoulder-skimming bob with bangs.  My hair guy is probably going to freak out on me, but frankly, it was past time for this.  Almost no layers now, and much less hair in my food, drink, and on the floors ;)  And, I no longer wake myself up when sleeping.  I'm a total spaz when it comes to styling long hair - with my layers I just couldn't manage a simple bun, and braids had all kinds of ends sticking out.  On some people that looks kinda cute, but on me it looked awkward...much like me wearing plaid shirts, others look great but I look like I misplaced my axe 😏😆

Slowly stitching together a Summer blanket of granny squares I crocheted.  Below is my first square I did (with a loonie for scale):

Is it even?  Nope.  Do I care?  Nope, although that may change as I continue stitching the squares together 😅  One of my Aunts in B.C. taught me how to crochet years ago, and during one of the first lockdowns here I re-taught myself with the help of a great Youtuber called BellaCoco (I think?)  Thanks to her Youtube channel, I'm thinking of trying to teach myself how to left-hand crochet.  I also re-taught myself how to knit, but haven't really done anything yet.  Well, I made a scarf as a gift, and the recipient seems to have liked it, so I guess that went well.

Sewing?  Not so much, but I had hoped to get some done.  There are so many projects in my mental queue that I think I'm overloaded with ideas and can't pick out just one to start with.  Mending is what I do these days, although I'm only passable at it.  I'll get better in time, I know...

Shenanigans?  Not much really.  I don't go out very often, although I do try and get up to some shit-disturbing here at home - keeping it to a minimum, I still have to live here ;)  Small silly things, like pulling my Dad's pants down (far enough to make him gangsta like the kids) while he's busy washing dishes, then all of us laughing while he tries to chase me around the kitchen and living room with his waistband around his hips.

I've developed an interest in Horology, more in the direction of watch and clock repair than focusing on the history aspect.  Perhaps because I have an interest in clockwork and animatronic figures and such.  Robots before robotics, to put it simplistically.  Don't get me started on my love of pocket watches!  Sadly any courses out there are far too expensive for me to consider taking it up full time, but I've read a couple of books and found it educational.  Eventually I may spring for some tools to fill out what I don't have and try things out on a couple of broken down watches we have around here.  |I also have a vintage clock from the 1930s I may work up the courage to take a peek into to clean and maintain it properly.  One day I hope to own my dream clock - these were usually made in Japan, but they have simple animatronic birds in a birdcage that move around, and sometimes sing *sigh*  😍

Now that I've babbled on and on...and on...I shall leave you to your day.  Thank you for reading.  Until next time...

Well, what the heck do I do now...?

 I wish I had more interesting stuff to write about...

I'm a pretty boring person these days - then again, much like everyone else out there this Covid stuff is really rather cramping my style ;)   I have been unemployed for a while, and I decided to stop looking for work during these challenging times.  I live at home, and both parents are considered part of the "high-risk" group - as well as me not having a car or driving license - so the whole "working outside the home" and "taking public transit" isn't really an option for me now.  Blithely ignoring the fact that I am Celiac, which is an autoimmune disorder that may or may not put me at a slightly higher risk as well.

Yes, as a matter of fact I know how lucky I am to even have that choice.  I get no support from the government financially, so don't feel too jealous.  I am SO appreciative of not having to worry about food or shelter during this.  I am busy taking care of the household - kind of an extension or continuation of my former (non-trained) PSW duties for a short period in the past.  I was also able to pick up some work helping out a couple of friends of mine between lockdowns- cleaning up their large backyard, cleaning their windows inside and out - so at least I got out of the house for a bit.  And no, I really don't go out very often therefore cabin-fever becomes a very real issue once in a while.

I have also been occasionally trying out free online courses in various subjects.  I'm at a point in my life where my career goals are doing a serious pivot...but I'm still lost as to what I want to do.  I have too many things that interest me so I'm having a hard time narrowing it down.  I tried schooling for a set career in my past, but it didn't work out for me - I learned much for about the career I was training/studying for, and found it wasn't suitable.  My fear of wasting money like that again is holding me back - besides the fact that I still berate myself for making that kind of mistake, even though it's been decades.  I tried Employment Ontario, did a bunch of tests and went to some seminars, pre-Covid.  Gave up on that...and besides, my assigned counselor is so busy now with others that I've been lost in the shuffle.  So much for "I know people that are hiring, send me your resume and..."  Nothing has come of that, nor will it ever.  A bit f a waste of my time.  LinkedIn is quickly becoming a joke to me, and it's so very depressing every time I go on it.  It's becoming very Facebook-ish, nothing but success stories and falseness.  And while there's opportunities for working from home, there's so many scams out there it's ridiculous!  That, and my home situation isn't very conducive to working from home - most of the offerings out there I've seen is for Admin Assistant, and that's a career I am no longer willing to pursue (no matter how much my Mum wants me to). 

I have quite a bit to be thankful for and appreciative of.  So why am I writing all this stuff?  Call it peeling back the veneer of my selfish, self-centered, ugly self.  I am an introvert/ambivert, did I mention that?  Trust me, sticking me in a household for almost a year by now is really starting to wear on my nerves. *lol*  I get almost no time alone anymore, there's no such thing as quiet, and I'm feeling as though I'm constantly expected to be available for almost anything at any time (meaning if they decide to do something, I HAVE to be available to help no matter what I may be involved in myself).  Our house has many stairs, many levels (tall and narrow, a good suburban house), and there's quite a bit to do around here...and I honestly don't think they can handle it all on their own anymore.  But moving elsewhere automatically involves me going with them (I NEED to find work post-Covid!), which is enormously kind of them...but...I don't want to be stuck living together for the rest of my life.

Well, now that's off my chest, and in your ears (well, eyes technically...but whatever!).  Thank you for reading, and let's see if I can come up with something a little more interesting next time rather than just babbling on about my sorry little self.  Any questions?

Hmmmm...what to say...?

 I could start by catching up on the goings-on in my little life...but it could be boring.  I could just blather on about what's up now...but that could be boring, too.

 

I've changed as a person since I last wrote here - who doesn't change as they get older, right?  I'm almost 50.  I'm both dreading and looking forward to this milestone age.  I'm officially old (*lol*), but in some ways it feels like my life could be starting over again.  I guess it depends on my point of view at the time.  Currently slogging through menopause - my last period was roughly six months ago (which either means I'm due for another one, or I get to taste the freedom finally), so I haven't had to "re-set the clock" so-to-speak for a while.  Once it's been a year I'm apparently officially In Menopause (capitalised on purpose) so there's that to look forward to.  About the worst of it for me were two things:

1) I had to go back on anti-depressant/anti-anxiety meds as my mood swings were through the roof (and in the cellar) - and that's not a bad thing.  As I've lived with both for most of my life, and been on and off of meds most of my life, I'm just someone that needs store-bought serotonin occasionally to get by ;)

2) I've also noticed that my bullshit-tolerance levels are kaput.  I've lost people in my life over this, but that's ok too.  I'm better off this way, and I'm sure they are too.  I see no reason why I have to be the one that puts all the effort into something or someone with absolutely no reward, making all the concessions until I become a different person just to gain acceptance.  I'm done with that.  If you don't like who I am there's the door, move on and be happier with someone else.

Now, before you get all judgy on me, kindly note that by "reward" I mean someone that actually cares about how I am, cares about who I am, and is willing to accept me as my authentic self.  Don't have a whole conversation with me then tack on at the end of it "By the way, how are you?" as an afterthought or a perceived obligation.  Don't make me the one that always reaches out to connect but can't be bothered to do the same for months on end.  Granted, I admit that me being an introvert (ambivert?) can make things...difficult?...interesting?...when it comes to friendship or relationships with me.  I get that, and I do try and put an effort into things.  I also get that I've made some shitty choices in regards to whom I try and trust.  I'm learning, though, so it's all good (I hope).

Now that you're thoroughly bored and regretting your wasted time reading this - but thank you for reading this - I'll sign off.  I'll catch you up on what's past next time.  Then I'll have to think up what the heck I'm going to try and do here other than babble about myself...any thoughts?  anyone? *LOL*

A little dusty and cobwebby in here...

 Methinks it's time for a catchup and a bit of re-purposing...perhaps...  

Things were well then, but much like everyone else on the planet unforeseen issues can rather bollox things up a bit, yes?  Time to try this blogging thing again, even if only for my own entertainment.